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              Reasons For Not Coming To Work (More Strange But True Humor)

              Check out the book on the British Amazon site Check out amazon for complete information on the print edition In Canada? You can get this from within the country via amazon.ca The Kindle version can save you tons of money, and you can read it on almost any device with the free reader software Buy the PDF from us and save BIG. And, yes you can print it out or view it on a screen.

              Reasons For Not Coming To Work (More Strange But True Humor)

              Reasons For Not Coming To Work

              The following responses have been collected from the web -- the best excuses for not coming into work!

              - It it is all the same to you I won't be coming to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

              - When I got up this morning I took two Ex- Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

              - I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space- time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

              - I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Ok?

              - I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Wal-Mart.

              - Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with AT&T, but thank you for calling.

              - Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

              - I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come in to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

              - The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

              - The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

              - My mother-in-law has come back as one of the undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

               

              - I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

              - My wife makes more money than I do, so I have to stay at home with our sick son.

              - I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

              - I'm feeling a little disgruntled this morning. You sure I should come in?

              About Company

              Bacal & Associates was founded in 1992. Since then Robert has trained thousands of employees to deal with angry, hostile, abusive and potentially violent customers. He has authored over 20 books on various subjects, many published by McGraw-Hill.

              About

              Robert Bacal

              About The Company
              About Our Seminars & Services
              About Our Websites
              Privacy Policy

              Our Related Websites

              Building Bridges Between Home And School For Educators
              Just for teachers, administrators and school staff

              Angry Customer Guides and Defusing Techniques
              Hundreds of tips and techniques for dealing with nasty people.

              Customer Service In Government

              A site dedicated to those in the public sector who deal with difficult, angry, frustrated taxpayers.

              Bacal & Associates Store
              Free and paid guides, books, and documents on business, management and more.

              We Believe

              • Training sessions should ALWAYS be customized to fit YOUR context.
              • Our role is to make you self-sufficient and self-sustaining.
              • Fees should be reasonable, fair, and flexible to fit different budgets.
              • The only way to further success is to challenge the existing "wisdom" through critical thinking and basing our services and books on a complex reality.

              Get in Touch

              • Phone:
                (613) 764-0241
              • Email: [email protected]
              • Address:

              • Bacal & Associates
              • 722 St. Isidore Rd.
              • Casselman
              • Ontario
              • Canada, K0A 1M0





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